Double Dog Dare You

Jim:  Greetings, salutations, and best wishes to the listeners of this podcast.  Those who are about to enter, I salute you.  I congratulate you on having an interest to participate in your life.  Creating yourself rather than finding yourself.  Combining serendipity and synchronicity.  Making 1+1 equal 3.  Creating a reaction rather than waiting for one.  Let’s confront fear.  Let’s use it and expect the unexpected.  Follow the sound of my voice.  Dare to look for white rabbits and go down the rabbit hole.  Let’s meet life head-on with full-impact mindfulness.  And if that interests you, listen on and dive into the deep end of the pool.  And, I’ll teach you to Fish Without Bait.  A lifetime without definitive expectations.  Let the adventure continue.  Today – now, and in this moment, I’m joined by my good friend, co-host, and producer of this program – Mr. Mike.  Mike, have you seen A Christmas Story when the boy was double and triple-dogged dared to place his tongue on a frozen pole?

Mike:    I have.  That is a classic.

Jim:    Indeed it is.  Well, I’m not asking anyone out there to put their tongue on a frozen pole or frozen anything else.  And, I’m not asking anyone to put themselves in any type of physical danger.  What I am doing, Mike, is asking people to confront fear.  And, there’s a quote – and you know how much I love quotes – by George Adair that says everything that you wanted is on the other side of fear.  What do you make of that?  I dare you to answer.

Mike:    Well, I think that fear is usually the barrier to achieve what we want.

Jim:    Absolutely.  Fear is a huge obstacle in people’s lives.  Fear is one of the things that prevent us – that keep us in our comfort zone.  Fear is one of the things that keep us on the sidelines.  Does anyone get anywhere by playing it safe?

Mike:    No.  You stay exactly where you are – safe but mostly in the same spot.

Jim:    And, you’re exploring – you’re pushing the limits of your own life right now.

Mike:    Yes.  Yes, I am.  Trying new things all the time.  Going new places.  Just experiencing those challenges and the adventure that they bring me.

Jim:    I like that word – the adventure.  And, Mike, remember our time is currency talk.  What do you remember about that?

Mike:    That we have only so much time really banked up in our lives, and the way we spend it is valuable.

Jim:    So, we’re only given so much time.  Mike, can you put time in the bank to spend it later?

Mike:    No.

Jim:    Can you save it for another day?

Mike:    Not really.  It’s passed.  It’s ever flowing.  The bank is always emptying as it were.

Jim:    That’s correct.  So, Mike, there’s an old Chinese proverb that says the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.  The second best time is now.  So, Mike, have you ever been involved in any type of organized sports?  Have you ever played baseball, football, soccer, or any type of organized sports game?  

Mike:    Not very well, but yes I have.  

Jim:    And, what did you have to play by?

Mike:    The rules of the game.  No double-dribbling.  No out-of-bounds.  Don’t shove that kid.  

Jim:    Your’re right.  You had to play by the rules.  And, Mike, when you were in organized-type of team sports, who decided whether you were going to get into the game?

Mike:    The coach.

Jim:    Absolutely.  The coach. So, have you ever been to an event and saw a little boy or a little girl sitting on the sidelines or on the bench the whole game, and never got in?

Mike:    That was me sometimes.

Jim:    Never got a chance to play.

Mike:    Sometimes.

Jim:    Never got permission to play.  We’re always looking for someone else to let us play.  That’s just too sad, Mike, and I question those who place young ones in those types of situations.  So, this is the challenge out there for everyone today – there’s too much to do.  There’s too much to see rather than wait, and sit – until someone gives you permission to enter the game.  Whether that be a relationship, a job, or a life.  And, Mike, this is where full-impact mindfulness comes into play.  Confronting fear and giving yourself permission to enter the game.  And, Mike, if you don’t like the rules, make your own.  As long as we’re not causing distress or disruption in other people’s lives, we can make our own rules and live our own life.  Do you like rules, Mike?

Mike:    I’m not much of a rules person.  That’s why I like to work for myself, for instance.  And, I’m loving the adventure.  

Jim:    And, Mike, when we pay attention on purpose – when we take those necessary steps to participate in our life, when we’re mindful of our time as currency – we can make good investments.  Mike, have you ever heard the saying that it’s a dog-eat-dog world? 

Mike:    Absolutely.

Jim:    So, if we keep chasing what other people want us to be, trying to live up to the expectations of others – merely trying to avoid the rules of life, we’re going to end up being dinner.  Rather than chasing that, they’re chasing us and they’re going to eat us.  Mike, the first thing we have to do – again – is to pay attention on purpose.  Become that observer behind the thinker.  Recognize and listen to the inner critic, that voice inside you that tells you what you need to do or what you need.  So, Mike, we need to ask ourselves whose voice is that?  And, that’s a challenge to everyone out there.  It’s not yours.  That’s the wolf’s, and it’s going to consume you.

Mike:    One way I look at time is – you know, especially with business, you look at the stuff you work on every day and try not to be mired in the details.  And, you try to make the decision is this going to move me forward?  And, I think that applies to your life as well.  Is this just a thing I’m doing to go through the motions and just to get through another day of workplay, whatever?  Am I making a move that actually moves me forward?  A guy that I listen to a lot says that if you really want to do something and build something, stop watching Netflix all the time, right?  It’s another thing that doesn’t progress you.  And, I think that’s really important when you want to move forward but don’t know how.  If you look at it and say well, what decisions am I making?  How am I using my time?  How am I spending my time, my currency?

Jim:    Indeed.  So, let’s relate this to learning how to swim.  One of the first things we do when we learn how to swim – Number One is learn how to float.  Number Two: We learn how to tread water so we don’t go under.  However, most people live their lives just by treading water or floating.  

Mike:    And, some people don’t have the gumption to do that.  And, that’s understandable. And, some people are perfectly happy just staying in one place.  And, they’re okay with that.  But, I think a lot of people – especially in this day and age just see the potential and don’t have a desire for that – but then, they don’t know how to break through that.  As you say, fear is the wall, right?  And, they know there’s something better on the other side of that wall, but they don’t know the wall is there.

Jim:    Fear is that corroding thread, Mike.  Fear – most people are filled with fear.  Their fear of failure.  However, if you never try – you can never fail.  So, if you’ve never failed, you’ve never tried.  

Mike:    Right.

Jim:    And, again, my challenge out there is to you – to myself.  When I speak to people out there, keep in mind that I paint myself with the same brush.  I’m challenging myself to move forward.  When I originally started these podcasts, this is what it was about.  Did I have fear of doing this?  Absolutely.  Did I have fear of putting myself out there?  Did I have fear of making myself vulnerable to criticism?  To have other people listen to this and criticize me in saying you know, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  That’s okay.  I’ve learned how to float.  I’ve learned how to tread water.  And, now I’m learning how to Fish Without Bait.  So, those are a lot of words.  And, they’re just that.  Unless they’re followed by action.  And, here’s where the true concept of Fishing Without Bait – the full concept of full-impact mindfulness comes into play.  I challenge everyone out there to do a complete and thorough self-evaluation of their lives.  Of their hopes. And, of their dreams.  And, how they’re spending their time.  How they’re spending their lives.  When we consider it as currency.  One just can’t think their way out of where they’re at.  They can’t think their way out of this space they’re in.  And, I’m challenging you – I’m double-dog daring you taking these thoughts out of your head and writing them down on paper.  Let me ask you this question, Mike, if you were not afraid – if you didn’t have fear in your life, what would you do?

Mike:    Whatever I wanted.

Jim:    Whatever you wanted to do.  So, what we’re doing is – that’s my question to everyone today.  I’m, asking you if you didn’t have fear – if you weren’t afraid, what would you do with your life?  That’s my challenge to you. I’m challenging you with that.  And, maybe you’re afraid to answer that question.  How can I remove fear from my life?  What can I do?  And, let me repeat that again – if you were not afraid, what would you be doing right now?  I dare you – I double-dog dare you, and I triple-dog dare you to answer that question truthfully.  If you would truly like to go through and walk out your front door and Fish Without Bait, if you would like to truly go through your life – to open your front door, to Fish Without Bait.  If you would like to fully impact your life and eat the wolf, continue to listen.  Continue to learn. And, avoid placing definitive expectations on yourself.  All I ask of you is honesty, open-mindedness, and a willingness to try.  We will continue this conversation when we meet again.  Be good to yourself.  Be good to another.  And, avoid feeding the wolf.  And, until then, Namaste.  

Please check out our website at FishingWithoutBait.com where you can listen to the show, comment on our discussions and find out where you can subscribe to our podcast.  Fishing Without Bait is a production of Namaste Holistic Counseling, P.C.