Jim: Greetings, and welcome fellow travelers of space and time. For some unknown reason you’ve stumbled into our podcast of Fishing Without Bait – a lifetime without definitive expectations. My name is Jim Ellermeyer. I’m a behavioral health therapist. And, as always, I’m joined by my good friend, and producer, and co-host, Mr. Mike.
Mike: How are you doing tonight, Jim?
Jim: Well, Mr. Mike, I’ve decided I’m going to stop keeping score?
Mike: How so?
Jim: How so?
Mike: I didn’t know what game you’re playing.
Jim: So, if I’m keeping score, I’m comparing myself against something. Am I not?
Jim: When I compare myself against something, that means I’m setting myself up against perhaps an unrealistic standard, Mr. Mike.
Mike: Perhaps an unrealistic expectation?
Jim: Unrealistic expectations. Hence, I believe – Mike, I think we’ll just fish without bait tonight.
Mike: That sounds good.
Jim: Super! For those of you who perhaps missed the last podcast, and certainly shame on you. However, that can be easily rectified. You can go back and listen to it.
Mike: They’re all there. They don’t expire. You can start from the beginning. As the kids say, binge watch it – or listen in this case.
Jim: And, as we go along with this podcast, both of us begin to find our stride. We begin to feel the energy. We begin to feel the tingle. Mike, do you ever walk through life? Do you ever feel the tingle?
Mike: Yes, Jim. I feel the tingle.
Jim: Some of you perhaps are familiar with Henry David Thoreau – Walden’s Pond, Civil Disobedience, that type of thing. He came up with a quote that said “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Is your life full of sound and fury? Does it signify nothing? If you are, then you’re listening to the right podcast – because this, my friend, is another exercise in blunt-force therapy. As we discussed – last time we discussed carpe diem. Carpe diem, Mike.
Mike: Seize the day!
Jim: We discussed seizing the day. Right. And, that’s an action verb, is it not?
Jim: That’s an action verb. So, we’re talking about action in your life. How in the heck does mindfulness incorporate this?
Mike: Right. Because as we talked about before, it feels like when we’re talking mindfulness it’s soothing. It’s introspective. It’s quietness. It’s taking a moment in silence, right? And, now you’re saying that we need to seize the day and be loud, and say bring the mayhem?
Jim: We bring loudness to our lives. We live life out loud. And, mindfulness – remember, Mike, is paying attention on purpose. And, when we’re paying attention on purpose – I was speaking to an individual today. And, they were talking about for the first time feeling alive. And, do you know where it was? In a dentist’s office of all places.
Mike: Oh wow.
Jim: They were sitting there and they thought you know what, maybe Jim’s not as bizarre as I think he is. I’m going to actually sit here and be here. And I’m going to feel what the dentist is doing. They were cleaning their teeth. And they said I can feel the vibrations as it went across each tooth. And, I really sat there and I concentrated. And, actually, I began to tingle – which is where the tingling thing comes from. So, when you begin to tingle, does that tell you that you’re alive?
Mike: It’s that feeling – that excitement. The vibrations through your body.
Jim: Absolutely. As our dear friend Eckert Tolle suggested when he began to get a clearer mind and began to be in the present – he spent two years sitting on a park bench, as he describes it, bursting with joy. Bursting with joy. Does that sound like somebody that’s lying in a meadow watching bubbles go past?
Mike: No. Absolutely not.
Jim: Absolutely not. That’s talking about somebody that’s participating in life. So, the last time we talked about seizing the day – and at the end of the podcast we talked about what’s holding us back. The person that you’re waiting for is you. How often do we wait for something to arrive, Mike?
Mike: Sometimes all of our lives.
Jim: Yes. Sometimes we’re waiting for that letter that never comes. We’re waiting for the phone call that’s not going to come. We’re waiting for that word that doesn’t come. What does that leave you? Disappointed. Frustrated. Angry. Despair. Is your health and wellness your responsibility? 100%?
Jim: Many of us depend on other people for that, do we not?
Mike: Right. Or, at least they are able to assign the blame for not being able to pull it off on other people. Well, I can’t do that because so-and-so wants me to do something.
Jim: Right. What we’re talking about today is removing those shackles and bonds that hold us back. Imagine yourself – do you ever feel like you’re walking through life with cement blocks tied around your ankles?
Jim: You’re slowly – you’re trudging. As Mr. Bill Wilson suggested in the big book of alcoholics anonymous, we’re going to attempt to vault you into a fourth dimension of existence that you’ve never imagined. And, it’s right in front of you if you can just open your eyes. Remove the scales to remove those attachments. So, when you say that I see, or when you say I see, there’s a big difference is there not? Remember the movie Avatar, Mr. Mike?
Mike: We’re talking about the blue people, right?
Jim: Yes. The movie Avatar, right. The blue people on the planet. When they – their term for being in love with somebody and being in communion and bond with them, do you remember what they would say to each other? That would say, “I see you.” I see you. So, how can we develop sight, Mike, if we’re attached to every other sight, sound, images – everything that comes into our life? How can we detach? How do you detach a little bit, Mike?
Mike: Turn everything off.
Jim: You turn it off. How do you do that? It’s easy to say, isn’t it?
Mike: It’s – well, if you’re talking about in today’s age, usually the things doing that are technology. So, there is a power button to it. But, there’s also a power button to receiving those things as well and finding yourself in those situations.
Jim: Indeed. However, what we could do is identify them. We can’t detach unless we identify. What’s holding me back? I don’t know. Well, let’s examine that and look, okay? Once again, we’re going to go back to the thought of why does a person name a pet? Why do you name your lovely little dog?
Mike: So I know what to yell when he pisses me off.
Jim: It also gives you a sense of power and control over it, does it not?
Mike: Certainly a little bit. And, of course it’s something you’re responsible for.
Jim: Yes. It gives you some responsibility for your dog. Now, if your dog went outside and ran off, and you didn’t give it a name, how would you ever call it back?
Mike: Dog! Dog! Dog, dog! Dog, dog!
Jim: Okay. So, when you were a little boy – and, let’s say your parents would have been in a huge department store in New York City. And, you got lost. How would your parents have felt? How would they have felt when their little boy is missing in a large department store?
Mike: Like they’ve lost something. Like a piece of them is missing.
Jim: Worried. Anxious. Fearful. If a store personnel would have come up to them and said, “If you can accurately label and describe your child, we can help you find him.” And, my guess is that your parents would be accurately able to label and describe you – and able to find you. However, if they weren’t able to accurately label and describe you, would they be able to find you?
Mike: No. It looks like every other kid.
Jim: Looks like every other kid. Right. Sometimes that’s the way our thoughts and our feelings and our attachments are. They get lost. And, we can’t find them. So, being able to label and describe them – and identify them, and then we can release those fish hooks – those tentacles that grasp around us. Those things that are holding us back from participating in life. When you get a wake-up call, what is it like? It’s like a bang. When was the last time you felt a bang in your life?
Mike: That realization that I needed to move in a certain direction with my life. And, I agree with you. I think I’ve had the fortunate experience in that kind of thing where I say no. This doesn’t work. We need to go this way. I always say something clicks in your head. And it’s something exciting.
Jim: That is exciting. And, that’s a decision, is it not? That’s a decision. When I’m working with people – and they come in some days. And, I just look at their face – I know they’ve made a decision. I know that they’ve made a decision. You have friends in your life, do you not?
Mike: Some say.
Jim: I’m sure you do. Do you have friends that can be completely honest with you?
Mike: I hope so.
Jim: Do you have friends that could ever raise the BS meter on you? Could you ever call BS alert on you, Mike?
Mike: Yeah. I’m sure.
Jim: How about calling that on yourself? Have you ever done that?
Mike: Yes. It’s hard.
Jim: Indeed. Indeed, it’s hard. But then, what that does is it removes those shackles and those bonds and those barriers that separate you from being yourself – from being the person that you’ve been waiting for.
Mike: And, not doing it tomorrow. Not doing it – starting right now.
Jim: Right now. And, again, the mantra – where are you at?
Mike: Right here.
Jim: And, what time is it?
Mike: Right now.
Jim: It’s right now. And, indeed, is it always right now?
Jim: Right. I’d like to ask everyone out there – and you can think this is as silly as you care to. Do you feel a tingle in your life? Do you feel a little bit of excitement when you get up? Do you feel a little bit of excitement when you walk down the street? Do you feel anything? Or is it another day? Do you feel when you’re walking through – when you get up in the morning, you can say two statements. You can say ugh, another day. Or ah, another day!
Mike: And, that’s a decision – to take it that way.
Jim: That is a decision.
Mike: Because if you interpret it the other way, that colors every other reaction throughout that day.
Jim: Conscious choice.
Mike: There’s a lot of stuff that went wrong for me today. And, there’s a lot of stuff I could get pissed about – especially on days like today when I’m recording a lot of things, and having a lot of cancellations and moving, and everything like that. But, because I wake up a certain way and it’s like you know what, I’m not going to dwell on it. What’s the next thing? Let’s move on. We’re here, and everything’s great.
Jim: So, when a ship is at harbor, what does it generally drop?
Jim: An anchor. So, what does an anchor do, Mike?
Mike: It holds you in place. It grounds you.
Jim: It grounds you and it holds you in place. However, when the ship wants to leave, if it doesn’t pull up the anchor, what happens? It sits there in frustration, trying to move and wondering what’s holding it back – when it’s the anchor. The idea is – how can we raise the anchor in your life? And, again, we’ll go back and I’d like everybody to relisten to the podcast we did on hitting the reset button. Hitting the reset button on your life is learning how to detach – knowing that you’re alive. Mike, how do you know that you’re alive? How do you know?
Mike: I pinch myself?
Jim: You pinch yourself? Then, what do you feel? You feel some pain. You bring yourself back to the present, do you not?
Jim: The idea here is that this is going to be a blunt-force therapy conversation. This is a wake-up call. I’m calling a wake-up call to everybody. I’m calling a challenge for everyone to participate, be alive, and be in the moment. Detach. Identifying, labelling the things that are detaching you and holding you back. We spoke last time, Mike, and we’re going to continue our conversation in our next podcast about finding your base – finding your base where you can put your two feet on and grow from. Find yourself a base that does not need restructured. Find a base that does not need cemented. Find a base that is not fractured. Find a base that is not a slippery slope. Find a base where you can put your two feet on and grow from. And, what is preventing you? We’ve overlooked that base. We’ve attached ourselves to things that distract us from our true purpose in life. Until then, Mr. Mike, Namaste.
Please check out our website at FishingWithoutBait.com where you can listen to the show, comment on our discussions and find out where you can subscribe to our podcast. Fishing Without Bait is a production of Namaste Holistic Counseling, P.C.