Fishing Without Bait 526: Vic Costik’s Love Letter to Pittsburgh

In Part 2 of our conversation with Vic Costik of the New Rust Pittsburgh Podcast, the discussion begins with a simple but powerful principle: people are who they say they are.

From there, Vic and Jim Ellermeyer explore what it takes to build communities where people feel safe, valued and understood. Vic describes community-building as something active. It can mean checking in with friends, remembering the things that matter to them, introducing people with shared interests or simply creating a space where others feel welcome.

The more we create space for others, Vic explains, the more opportunities we have to become part of one another’s communities.

Replacing Contempt With Curiosity

One of the episode’s central ideas is Vic’s practice of approaching ignorance through “neutral inquiry.”

Instead of immediately arguing with someone, Vic begins by asking what that person has heard or experienced. This can reveal the misinformation, fear or limited perspective behind a harmful belief. Understanding where an idea came from does not excuse it, but it can create an opportunity to address it more effectively.

The conversation becomes especially personal as Vic describes the precautions many transgender people take while traveling or entering unfamiliar public spaces. A moment of frustration captured in an online video may not represent one isolated event. It may be the latest in a long series of painful interactions.

That perspective asks us to see the human being beyond the clip.

Creating a Welcoming Home

Vic also discusses their commitment to Pittsburgh and its LGBTQ+ community. After seeing transgender people leave their communities because they no longer felt safe, Vic became involved in efforts intended to protect Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ+ residents.

“The queer community here, we deserve to be here,” Vic says. “And we love this city.”

That love for Pittsburgh is central to New Rust Pittsburgh. The podcast grew from a desire to bring people together, tell individual stories and show listeners a side of the city they may not have encountered before.

Recovery, Accountability and Imperfection

Jim connects the conversation to the principles of 12-step recovery. Recovery is not simply about abstaining from a particular behavior. It involves changing how a person thinks, acts and responds to the world.

Vic sees a similar process in learning to accept imperfection. Perfectionism can be painful because it leaves no room for mistakes, growth or honest self-reflection. Healing can begin when we recognize our flaws, make amends for the harm they may have caused and use those lessons to reconstruct ourselves.

Being a good person is not a permanent status that someone achieves. It is reflected in the choices and actions repeated every day.

Embracing the Pittsburgh Weird

New Rust Pittsburgh highlights the creative undercurrent running through the city. Vic has spoken with artists, entrepreneurs and makers while exploring speakeasies, creative spaces, neighborhood businesses and unexpected corners of Pittsburgh.

“If you are ready to embrace the Pittsburgh weird,” Vic says, “that’s what this podcast is about.”

Vic’s Pittsburgh memories include playing ukulele with strangers while waiting for Fourth of July fireworks, helping family members discover the city, visiting the Andy Warhol Museum, riding a bike through Pittsburgh and seeing the Smithfield Street Bridge illuminated at night.

These experiences reveal a city that is accessible, creative and far more varied than its outdated image as a declining steel town.

Authenticity Without Living in Fear

Vic and Jim also discuss the balance between authenticity and personal safety. Awareness matters, and people should understand their surroundings and take reasonable precautions. But fear should not be allowed to dictate an entire life.

The question becomes whether it is more dangerous to live genuinely or to continually make oneself smaller for the comfort of others.

Vic’s answer is rooted in awareness rather than fear: other people should not be allowed to determine who we are or which spaces we are permitted to occupy.

Planting Flowers and Pulling Weeds

Toward the end of the episode, the conversation turns to relationships and boundaries. Vic discusses a personal journey away from people-pleasing and toward cultivating relationships with people who provide encouragement, connection and nourishment.

People often reveal who they are through their actions. Giving someone understanding and an opportunity to grow can be worthwhile, but repeated harmful behavior may require us to examine whether that relationship belongs in our lives.

As Jim puts it, we can plant flowers and pull weeds.

For Vic, that process remains ongoing. It means learning to receive as well as give, choosing relationships more intentionally and making room for people who help life grow.

Ultimately, New Rust Pittsburgh is Vic’s love letter to the city—a celebration of its unusual places, creative residents, personal stories and capacity to bring people together.

Listen to the New Rust Pittsburgh Podcast at NewRustPodcast.com.

Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait in your favorite podcast player for more conversations about mindfulness, recovery, wellness and living without definitive expectations.

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Pick up “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

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Fishing Without Bait 525: Vic’s Story: Identity, Transition & Finding Community