Fishing Without Bait 533: You Are Already Whole w/ Melissa Carey
What if personal growth isn’t always about repairing something that is broken?
In Episode 533 of Fishing Without Bait, Jim Ellermeyer begins a four-part conversation with Melissa Carey, whose work draws from music therapy, mindfulness, breathwork, sound, meditation, and other practices centered around presence.
Early in the conversation, Melissa offers a simple but meaningful idea: “I feel we are already whole.”
Instead of approaching people as problems that need to be fixed, Melissa describes creating space for them to reconnect with themselves. The things that can get in the way of that connection may include our self-talk, relationships, expectations, difficult experiences, and the constant noise competing for our attention.
Anxiety and the Need to Be Heard
Jim and Melissa discuss how anxiety often sits beneath many of the struggles people describe.
Sometimes someone may arrive talking about stress, a transition, physical discomfort, relationships, or a general feeling that something is wrong. Melissa says those experiences often come back to anxiety, dysregulation, or feeling separated from oneself.
Her first response isn't to rush toward a solution.
It is to listen.
Melissa describes paying attention not only to what a person says, but also to the space around those words. Rather than arriving with a predetermined list of answers, she looks for the question that needs to be asked.
Coming Back to the Breath
One of the simplest tools in the conversation is also one of the most accessible: breathing.
Melissa explains that she often begins by asking someone simply to notice their breath. There is nothing to accomplish and nothing that needs to be changed.
Notice it.
Jim and Melissa return to that idea later in the conversation when discussing presence. Yesterday's breath is gone. Tomorrow's breath hasn't happened yet. This breath is happening now.
That makes breathing a natural anchor to the present.
We Live by Moments
The conversation expands from breathing into a larger idea at the center of Fishing Without Bait: we don't experience life as one enormous block of time.
We live it moment by moment.
Trying to solve tomorrow while standing in today can create even more mental chatter. Melissa suggests beginning with the moment directly in front of you and allowing that presence to influence what comes next.
Practice Before the Emergency
Jim and Melissa also discuss why mindfulness and coping skills work best when they become part of everyday life.
We often reach for coping tools only when everything is already going wrong. By then, it can feel like trying to locate a fire extinguisher after the house is already burning.
The better opportunity to practice may be when nothing is wrong.
Breathing, meditation, movement, mindfulness, or whatever healthy practice works for you can become familiar through repetition. Then those tools are easier to access when life becomes difficult.
You Don't Have to Do Everything Alone
Melissa also makes an important distinction about the work she does. When someone needs additional support, she believes counseling and therapy are important and encourages people to consider speaking with an impartial professional who can offer another set of tools.
Sometimes helping someone means knowing that you don't have to be the person with every answer.
Part 1 of Jim's conversation with Melissa Carey is ultimately about returning: returning to the breath, returning to the moment, and perhaps returning to a wholeness that was there all along.
Learn more about Melissa Carey and Into the Spirit Healing:
intothespirithealing.life
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Continue your mindfulness practice with “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4
