Making a decision can feel heavy when we expect ourselves to get it right the first time. What if we gave ourselves permission to learn from a choice—and make another?
In Fishing Without Bait episode 539, Jim Ellermeyer continues his conversation with Melissa Carey. Part 3 explores the language of choice, the value of slowing down, and what it means to live fully in an imperfect world.
Starting With “I Choose”
Jim begins with a phrase that matters deeply to him: “I choose.”
He contrasts that language with the familiar demands of “I have to” and “I need to.” For Jim, recognizing choice is connected to accepting consequences and taking a more active role in our lives.
Melissa adds her perspective on why people sometimes repeat decisions that bring hardship. She suggests that those choices can feel beneficial to parts of ourselves shaped by unresolved experiences, even when the larger outcome isn’t what we want.
The conversation invites a question: What might become possible if we noticed those patterns and allowed ourselves to choose differently?
A Choice Can Teach You Something
Melissa describes trying a new choice like trying on a coat. You can see how it fits without assuming you must wear it forever.
She connects that idea to her business experiences. A workshop that doesn’t attract participants can lead to questions about timing, interest, and whether she was listening to what people wanted.
Those experiences have helped her refine what she offers. Something that didn’t work can still teach her how to move forward.
Making Room to Breathe
When Jim asks what she wants to learn or pursue next, Melissa’s answer centers on being comfortable with where she is.
She has plenty of things she could do. She is choosing to focus on the work she loves.
That includes the Breathing Room, an online experience she describes as an invitation to breathe together and be present. Her question is simple:
“Could we just take a breath?”
Melissa also discusses teaching Reiki with attention to animals, nature, and ecosystems, placing humans within that wider relationship. She reflects on what animals can teach us and the humility involved in being willing to learn.
An Imperfect Life Can Still Be Wonderful
The conversation turns to impermanence and the ways we take our lives, relationships, and next breath for granted.
For Melissa, accepting life includes allowing it to be meaningful without expecting every circumstance to be ideal. Financial stability, a perfect appearance, or freedom from difficulty does not have to be the prerequisite for appreciating life.
Jim brings that idea back to presence:
“We have a life, but we don't spend a lot of time living it.”
Their discussion asks us to consider how much of our attention goes toward living today and how much goes toward waiting for life to become something else.
Living What You Practice
Melissa shares the story of closing her larger office and bringing her practice into her home. She came to see that change as a way to let people experience how closely her work connects to her everyday life.
The house might not always be spotless. What matters to her is that the space reflects who she and her family are.
Near the end of the conversation, Jim and Melissa also consider the possibility of offering a peaceful presence to people and families facing the end of life. Melissa makes clear that this is something she would be open to exploring, rather than work she has already done.
She closes by reflecting on the quiet moments that have brought her insight—a fitting thread in a conversation about making space to notice what is already here.
Listen to part 3 of Jim’s conversation with Melissa Carey in Fishing Without Bait episode 539.
Follow Melissa and explore her offerings at intothespirithealing.life.
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Continue your own daily reflection with Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book.
